


Of Wives and Vows

by nanuk_dain



Series: Of Soldiers and Secrets [16]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-03
Updated: 2011-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:43:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things have never been said aloud before. Or: Speirs and Lipton have a conversation they've been avoiding forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Wives and Vows

  
[   
](http://pics.livejournal.com/nanuk_dain/pic/0008xqg1)   


 

The air was heavy from the last warmth of the day mingled with the smell of sweat and sex. Ron's eyes were closed and he focussed on his breathing that was slowly returning to normal. Under his face, he felt the heat coming off the skin of Carwood's chest which was still heaving in slowly receding pants. Under his fingers he felt Carwood's hair where he had his hands tangled in the short blond strands, and his nose filled with the delicious scent of 'Carwood' every time he took a breath. Around him, he felt the strong circle of Carwood's arms, the hands splayed on his back, holding on firmly even in the aftermath of climax.

Carwood had slipped out of him a few moments ago and Ron wished he hadn't, wished he could still have the addictive sensation of being filled, desired, claimed. He loved the feeling, had craved it ever since he'd first touched Carwood. He loved to feel Carwood's strength under his fingers, loved to finally let go of his tight control and to give in to Carwood's touches, to his bites and nips, to his intense way of claiming Ron. It was a kind of aggressive and possessive behaviour he only ever showed when they were intimate together. It made Ron go wild. He loved to know that he was the only person who ever got to see this side of Carwood. He loved to know that he could fall apart under those fingers and trust Carwood to piece him back together afterwards.

He felt the hands on his back slowly caress his skin, a light touch that made goosebumps spread all over his body. Carwood pressed a kiss on the top of his hair, tightening his arms around Ron. “Satisfied?”

“Hmmm.” Ron hummed, too content to bother with words. He smiled against the skin under his lips, knowing Carwood would feel it. He was rewarded with a low chuckle and another press of lips to his hair. They lay in the soft sheets on the bed in Ron's room, enjoying the heavy satisfaction of aftermath, slowly recovering from earlier activities. Or from the wild ride, Ron thought and couldn't help a grin at the double entendre.

It was quiet for so long that Ron began to fall asleep. The steady rise and fall of Carwood's chest was comforting and reassuring, it made him relax more and more with every minute that passed. He was close to sleep when he heard Carwoods's quiet voice ask, “Ron, what are we going to do?”

The question surprised Ron. He heard a distinct note of worry in Carwood's voice and it woke him immediately, made him raise his head so that he could look at Carwood. He seemed about as surprised about his words as Ron. It rarely happened that Carwood spoke before thinking things through, but this was obviously one of those rare times.

“What do you mean?” Ron asked in return, not entirely sure what Carwood was referring to. He didn't like jumping to conclusions just to find them proven wrong, so he waited for Carwood to elaborate – although Ron had to admit that he had a pretty good idea what Carwood was talking about.

“I know you have the points to return home.” Carwood said quietly, as if he had to force himself to say those words. “You have a wife and a son back in England. You have every reason to leave.”

Ron didn't reply immediately, instead he watched Carwood, took in the way his eyes were guarded and his brows were drawn together as if he was in pain; the way his hands pressed against Ron's skin and his arms seemed to hold on tighter, as if he was afraid Ron would just disappear. It told him everything Carwood had not put in words.

“I married her because I got her pregnant, Car. I certainly hadn't expected to find myself with a wife in England.” Ron replied after a moment, fixing Carwood with an intense gaze. He meant every word he said. “I knew I was leaving for war, and I expected not to survive. I decided I could just as well make an honest woman of her before I left. At least the boy would be covered, then.”

“That's where you've been sending all those things.” It was a statement, not a question, but Ron nodded anyway.

“What would I want with all that stuff?” Ron replied, knowing Carwood understood. War had a way of making a man modest. “But she needed it. She wasn't exactly rich, you know. Widow, second husband gone in war and a child to care for all on her own. It was the least I could do.”

Carwood was silent for a long time, and Ron could almost see him think. His left hand left Ron's back and came forward to fiddle with Ron's dog tags where they lay against Carwood's chest. It was an unconscious gesture, one that Carwood did a lot, and it always amused Ron. When Carwood looked up, he bit his lip before he asked almost silently, “You don't intend to go back?”

“I don't know,” Ron replied honestly. “I'm in no hurry.”

Carwood frowned. “But you have a _son_ , Ron.”

“I've never even seen him, Car. I was deployed before he was even born.” Ron just shrugged. “I wouldn't recognise him if he stood right in front of me.”

“Don't you want to get to know him? Be there for him and watch him grow up?” The frown was a notch deeper than before.

Ron considered the question for a moment. It was a good one, but he'd never given it much thought. “He's a stranger to me as much as I am a stranger to him. I _know_ he exists, but I have no real connection to him. I think he's better off with his mother than he would ever be with me.”

Carwood seemed to think about what he'd said but didn't reply. Ron watched him for some time, watched the multiple shades of emotions run through his eyes. Carwood had very expressive eyes, especially when he didn't consciously mask his thoughts and emotions. It was one of the things Ron loved about him. His honesty with his words and his feelings. He had never tried to hide them from Ron, had never shut him out on purpose. Not even in Landsberg.

“I don't have what you would call a home, Car, not in the States and not in England. I have no reason to go back.” Ron explained after a long moment of silence. His words weren't sad or unhappy, they were just a simple statement of the truth. It was then that a thought occurred to him that made his stomach clench almost painfully. “You're a married man too, Car. And you have the points. Shouldn't you want to get back to your wife?”

Carwood looked at him, then he closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “I'm not.”

Now it was Ron who frowned in confusion. “Not what?”

Another sigh. “A married man.”

“But you've been wearing a wedding band all this time.” Ron replied, his confusion deepening, and his gaze darted to Carwood's left ring finger. The band was gone. There was no imprint on his skin either, and for a moment Ron wondered how it had been gone without him noticing.

“I haven't been wearing it since Haguenau.” Carwood told him quietly, as if he had read Ron's thoughts. “She divorced me before Bastogne.”

Ron looked up, the frown still in place. “Why would she do that?”

Carwood laughed, but it wasn't a nice laugh. It was dark and bitter and almost cynical, something Ron had never heard from him before. He didn't like it at all. “Well, she got pregnant. And since I had been gone for more than nine months by then, it could hardly be mine, could it?”

Ron didn't know what to say to that. Deep inside, he felt an insane urge to make that woman suffer for hurting Carwood. For betraying his faith, his loyalty and his decency. Ron couldn't understand how anybody could ever do that to a man as good as Carwood.

“She knew she couldn't claim that it was mine, so she asked me for a divorce. As far as I know, she married the father of her child right after I had signed the papers.” He shrugged, and Ron could tell it wasn't as casual as Carwood wanted it to appear.

Ron let his finger pass over the spot on Carwood's left ring finger where the ring had been. Deep inside him, he felt a profound pleasure, a _satisfaction_ , that the wedding band was gone. It was accompanied by a strong surge of possessiveness that Ron had been aware of for a long time. He considered Carwood his, and he knew it was true the other way around too. Although most people never realised it, Carwood _was_ a possessive man. He just didn't show it – apart from the bite marks Ron received every single time he came close to Carwood, he thought with a smirk.

“Why did you keep wearing the ring?” Ron asked suddenly. He wondered what had made him take it off, but he didn't quite dare to ask.

Carwood shrugged and he actually looked embarrassed. “It was easier than to explain its absence.” He was silent for a moment, as if he was undecided if he wanted to go on, but then he added, “In Haguenau, after I woke up from the fever to find you there, I decided it was time to make the divorce final not only on paper but also in my mind.”

Haguenau. Ron still didn't like to think back to the time when Carwood had suffered from pneumonia. It made a shiver run down his spine to remember the violent coughing, the pained breathing, the fever-hot skin and the unhealthy paleness of Carwood's face. There was a knot forming in his stomach when he thought about the night when Doc Roe had looked at him with those all-knowing eyes that had told him that this night would decide whether Carwood survived. It had been so close. So incredibly close, and Ron had known it, had felt Carwood slowly slip over the edge, had done everything he could to pull him back. The next night, when Carwood had finally been coherent, Ron hadn't been able to let go of him when he'd lain in bed behind him. He'd been afraid he'd slip away again.

Ron shifted, rested his head on Carwood's chest and wrapped his arm around him to pull him close. The memories still haunted him and he felt the urge to touch to reassure himself that Carwood was there with him, that he was fine. As always, Carwood seemed to pick up on his mood immediately and his arms closed tighter around Ron, one hand carding through his hair in a soothing touch, the other slowly stroking the skin of his back. For a long moment, they just stayed like that, and Ron used the time to organise his thoughts.

“I always wondered something.” Ron finally said and raised his head again to look at Carwood, trying to figure if he'd get an answer. “I can tell you've never slept with another man before. Or been intimate with one in any way.”

It amused him to see the blush rising on Carwood's cheeks when he nodded. Just like Ron had expected. “What made you react to me?”

Carwood was quiet for a moment, then he snorted. “Luz.”

“What?” Ron could hear that his voice sounded just as surprised as he felt.

Carwood let out a slightly embarrassed sigh. “It was Luz who pointed out to me that you treated me differently.”

Interesting. “When was that?”

Carwood didn't even have to think about the answer. “A few days after Foy.”

Ron whistled through his teeth. “I'm impressed. He's a good observer.”

“Better than I, that much is certain.” Carwood replied with a shake of his head. “I never noticed a thing.”

“You can be quite oblivious sometimes.” Ron smirked and kissed Carwood's chest, then he looked up with a curious gleam in his eyes. “What exactly did he say?”

“He said that you listened to me. That you touched me while you never touched anybody else.” Carwood gave an amused chuckle. “That I could accept your cigarettes without having to worry about you killing me. I didn't believe him.”

Ron grinned. He was beginning to see a whole new side of Luz. “That must have annoyed him.”

“It did. So he told me that if I didn't believe him, I should just pay attention. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it.”

“And?”

“Well, he _is_ a good observer. Everything he said was proven right pretty quickly.” Carwood smirked. “And then I couldn't stop staring at your throat.”

Ron laughed in surprise. “You what?”

“Come on, you must have realised by now that I really like your throat.” Carwood remarked with a grin and trailed a finger along the side of Ron's neck. Ron could only guess that it was the place of the most recent bite mark. He'd have to wear a scarf again tomorrow.

“I think I should thank Luz for the service he did us.” Ron mused, a smirk on his lips.

Carwood chuckled. “Better not. You'd scare him to death.”

“I can be nice if I want to be.” Ron offered and Carwood's grin only widened.

“ _I_ know that, but I don't think that the boys do. You offer them a cigarette and they think you intend to shoot them.”

Ron chuckled. His reputation was still perfectly intact, then. “You may have a point.”

Carwood became serious, his hand beginning to play with Ron's dog tags again. “So what do we do now, Ron?”

“What do you want to do?” Ron asked, although he already knew the answer.

“I'll stay.” Carwood said quietly. “I won't leave as long as any of my boys are still stuck here.”

“It could mean that you'd have to go to the Pacific.” Ron pointed out, wanting to make sure Carwood was aware what his decision meant. He knew it wouldn't change Carwood's mind, though.

“I know.” Carwood looked at Ron, studied him for a moment. “You're going to stay, and so am I. Neither of us is the type of man who'd leave anyone behind.”

A slow smile spread over Ron's face. “No, we aren't.”

**Author's Note:**

> The beautiful banner was made by Megan_Moonlight!


End file.
